He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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