It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
