You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
