I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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