More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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