Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
