Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I lost the right to judge tonight
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
