Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
