when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
