I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
