They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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