I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Come share oat with me in your robe
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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