eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize