Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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