Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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