So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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