At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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