That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
