I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
