Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize