His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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