U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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