there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
