how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize