No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
