Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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