Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
