this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
