I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
