I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
