Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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