Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
