U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
