a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize