I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
