Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
