9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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