Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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