I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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