so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
