He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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