yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize