I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
