once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
