I need help removing her.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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