somebody snuck up and got me drunk
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
