Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize