Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
