They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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