Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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