Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
