Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
