i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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