This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
