For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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