Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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