weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
