apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
