Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
