Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
