My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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